Beauty and the Beast - Lessons in Love, Part I.V

Did you notice the gluttonous girl didn't yet meet up with her future husband in my last post? In fact, I ended the summary just before her quest began. She was still hot with anger and ready to brave the forest, her little sister in tow. Unlike Bluebeard's wife and Psyche, gluttonous girl faces most of her challenges up front and by her own choice. No one forces her and its not in defense of her life or love. It is however a proactive quest for someone who will love her even if she eats too much tallow. 

The gluttonous girl and her sister were cold, hungry and miserable in the forest when they heard their mother's search party call after the runaway girls. The little sister asked if they could make some noise so they might be rescued. The gluttonous sister, still angry about her punishment, said no and explained there would be plenty to eat once they found the mountain dweller. They drudged on until coming across a little mouse who could not get over a large log. The sisters, despite their weariness, helped the mouse - who then to their surprise spoke. She invited the girls into her home, which appeared before them in the woods. The girls were happy because the little mouse was more than a woodland creature. She was mouse woman, a spiritual being who helped young people in trouble. Mouse woman fed the sisters while they told her of their quest to find mountain dweller. Mouse woman gave them directions to his home but warned they would face four dangers and she could only give the sisters magical tools against three. 

The sisters left well fed and with their needed tools. First they came across two large fighting dogs. They threw the dogs magical fish bones. As the beasts chomped away the sisters sidled past. Next, they came across a river filled with dangerous kelp that would pull them under. The gluttonous sister used her magical knife to cut moss as mouse woman directed. As they canoed across the river the sisters threw moss between them and the kelp - the kelp settled until the the girls reached the shore. Finally, they had to climb a cliff to get to the mountain dweller's home. Unfortunately the crag they climbed began to close on them. Before they were crushed the gluttonous sister places a magical soap stone in the crag. They climbed safely to the top where they were greeted by a handsome young man - the mountain dweller. 

The little sister wondered out loud whether the handsome mountain dweller himself was the fourth danger... 

I love this story for many reasons. The first being that we learn the mother, despite her anger, is searching frantically for her daughters. In many fairy tales the mother is neglectful or allows her daughter to be offered up to danger. Here we have a normal mother who wished to punish her gluttonous daughter but still loved and cared about her safety. This story is also a warning to parents who don't think when they dole out punishment. The mother hurt her daughter's feeling by calling her names. Think of a mother in modernity that might call her daughter fat or piggy for eating the last candy. Words have consequences. A mother has the authority to punish misbehavior but she ought to be smart and respectful in how she metes out the punishment. 

Another lovely aspect of this story is mouse woman. The sisters are hungry and tired but want to continue on their quest. Enter a grandmother like figure who can help the girls out. When anyone embarks on a quest - no matter money, strength, or smarts - that person will need help. Mouse woman provides helpful tools and acts as a guiding force just as our friends, families, and teachers do today. 

Finally, the sisters deserve some mention for their own behavior. Although they were tired and hungry, they trudged on which show perseverance. They stopped and helped a little mouse when they needed just as much help. The sisters were kind. Further, they listened to the mouse woman's guidance and used the tools she offered them. Many times we fail because we don't listen. We don't recognize the tools being offered to us - life lines to help us succeed.

Beauty and the Beast - Lessons in Love, Part I

There are many Beauty and the Beast type stories throughout the world. Here I will review three:  Mountain Dweller, Bluebeard, and Cupid and Psyche. By comparing the actions of each heroine throughout each story’s progression, we can understand a little more about our own life choices. These stories provide ancient wisdom if we let them.

Part 1: How the Heroine Came to be in the Arms of a Monster

In Mountain Dweller, a young girl is told by her mother she should marry the mountain dweller because she is a glutton and he is known for being a great hunter, thereby providing her all the food she needs - practical advice but not meant as a compliment. In anger, she and her young sister run away to find the mountain dweller, who is almost impossible to find, as a means of besting her mother. 

In Cupid and Psyche, Venus is in a rage because people worship princess Pysche's beauty over her own. She begs her son Cupid to use his arrow to make Psyche fall in love with a vile creature. The Oracle of Delphi relays this message to the king. He is told to place his daughter on a cliff. The wind will carry Psyche to her monsterous future husband – Cupid. Upon taking aim, Cupid scratched himself with the arrow and fell in love with the princess. He altered his mother's plans and arranged the winds to carry Psyche to his home, rather than the monster's.  

In Bluebeard, a wealthy man who was cursed with an ugly blue beard fell in love with his neighbor's daughter. However she would not have him because of his atrocious facial hair... and several wives that seemed to disappear. To change her mind, he invited the daughter’s family to his place. Bluebeard wined, dined and charmed the family until the daughter consented whole heartily to marriage.

Although similar in idea, the tales begin from different perspectives. The gluttonous girl is full of rebellion and action.  She takes her mother’s criticism as a challenge, a quest or hero’s journey. The gluttonous girl actively chases down the mountain dweller for marriage despite challenges that lay ahead.

The daughter who consents to marry Bluebeard on the other hand is somewhere between active and passive. At the start, she refuses Bluebeard for specific reasons - ugly beard and missing wives. However, she allows herself to be caught up in his world of privilege. A veil descends over her intuitive eye changing her from thinking, active heroine to passive. She allows herself to be married to Bluebeard even though her original reasons for refusal still stand.

Psyche is neither active nor passive. Passivity implies that she allows something to happen to her. Psyche instead comes off as an object, a chess piece, to be moved around by everyone else. As an object, Psyche does not have the capacity to allow - so others decide her destiny. 

In comparing the starts of these stories, we can begin to understand how we end up in certain predicaments. If you’re always fighting an uphill battle, perhaps it’s because you’re too rebellious, hot-headed, and ready to disprove whatever criticism comes your way. You rush into relationships without thinking. It's like someone dared you the relationship couldn’t be done. Will it all work out in the end? How would you know? You never took the time to think about it.

Then again you could be the type of woman who over-thinks an issue until bad is good. So, if you ALWAYS date the wrong guy –someone who at first appears to be wonderful only to reveal himself as a jerk- maybe you are looking through a veil like Bluebeard’s fiancé.  Handsome looks, money, and swagger blind you to clues, present from the beginning, that the man you’re falling for is no good.

You could also be the type of woman who finds herself stuck in ho-hum relationships. Do you wonder how you got there? Think back to the beginning… Perhaps, like Psyche, you let yourself be moved around without ever thinking about and expressing your disinterest. You showed up to the cliff – I mean, date – as required. A decision was made that you and the other person would be a couple. You never provided input one way or the other. Like an object you were moved based on another’s desire. A place for you and you in its place.  

Next up we'll look at our heroines' married lives. Will they be a success? What will they have to overcome? Does how they start the story have any bearing on how the story moves along and eventually ends? What does that say about how we should conduct our lives?